Oprah Winfrey recently sparked a big conversation about people choosing “no contact” in relationships. And while that choice can absolutely be protective and necessary, I want to shine a light on something else: No contact is a boundary , not a substitute for learning boundaries. And boundaries don’t grow overnight. My First Wake-Up Call at 28 When I was 28, I walked into therapy for the first time—heartbroken by a painful pattern of triangulation between two family members.